Why Changes in Between?

People sometimes ask why I chose the name Changes in Between. The name came before the explanation, but looking back, I think it grew from years of working with people whose lives had changed in very different ways.

Some were grieving a death. Others were adjusting to illness, retirement, relationship change, ageing, chronic disorganisation or a future that had unfolded differently from the one they imagined. Their circumstances were unique, but what brought them to counselling was rarely the whole story. More often, it marked the beginning of learning to live with what had changed.

Over time, I realised this was the thread connecting much of my work, and that understanding became Changes in Between.

What happens after life changes?

Significant events can divide life into a before and an after. A death, diagnosis, redundancy, move or relationship ending may affect routines, relationships, confidence, identity and our sense of belonging.

Other times, no single event causes this. ADHD or executive functioning differences, chronic disorganisation, accumulated stress or increasing responsibilities can gradually make familiar ways of living harder to sustain. What follows is often less visible as we adjust to a life that no longer feels quite the same and work out what has changed, what has been lost, and what may now be possible.

Beginning with our own experience

People often judge themselves before they have had the chance to understand what they are living with. They wonder why they are still grieving, why they cannot let something go, why everyday life feels harder or why they are not coping as they think they should.

I often return to four questions:

What has changed?
What have I lost?
What matters to me now?
What am I adapting to?

These questions do not remove pain or provide immediate answers, but they can shift the focus from “What is wrong with me?” to “What has happened, and what am I trying to live with?” That shift can change how we relate to ourselves and the choices we make.

How this shapes my work

I believe awareness often comes before meaningful change. People don’t always need to be told what to do before their experience is understood. They may first need space to recognise what has changed, what is no longer working and what they are adapting to.

From there, new possibilities can emerge from their own experience rather than pressure, self-criticism or someone else’s expectations.

Honour Your Loss. Rebuild Your Life. Find Your Place.

These words have guided my practice from the beginning. I do not see them as stages to complete in order, but as different aspects of living with change.

To Honour Your Loss is to acknowledge what has changed and the significance of what has been lost.

To Rebuild Your Life is to create a life that reflects the reality you are living now, rather than trying to return to what existed before.

To Find Your Place is to develop a renewed sense of belonging within yourself, your relationships, your community and the natural world.

We may move between these experiences throughout our lives. New events can reconnect us with earlier losses, raise new questions or change how we understand them. This is not necessarily going backwards. Our relationship with loss, change and belonging continues to evolve.

What Changes in Between means to me

Changes in Between is not only about transitions. It is about learning to live with what change asks of us. The milestones of our lives may happen in moments, but much of life is lived in between them through adapting, rebuilding and finding our place again.

That is what Changes in Between has come to mean to me.

The person behind Changes in Between

These ideas have grown from years of working with people experiencing grief, life transitions, chronic disorganisation and overwhelm. They have also been shaped by my professional and personal experiences, ongoing learning and respect for each person’s way of understanding change.

To learn more about my background, qualifications and the path that led me to this work, visit my About Julie page.