Grief is the Thing with Feathers
Grief is a profound, universal experience that finds its voice differently. It resonated with the pages of Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter. This book had been waiting on my shelf for quite some time, but I took it on a short break. It was here, in the quiet, that I found myself deeply immersed in the story of grief, loss, and recovery.
I devoured the book in just a few hours on the first morning of my break. Despite my silent surroundings, the narrative was so compelling that it felt almost like a conversation. In an almost surreal parallel, a pied currawong pecked at my cabin’s kitchen window, a symbolic nod to the Crow in the story. This unexpected visitor seemed to blur the lines between fiction and reality, adding more depth to my reading experience.
Characters: Dad, Boys, and Crow
The novel features three main characters: Dad, Boys, and Crow, each with a distinct voice and perspective. The story begins with the death of Dad’s wife and Boy’s mother leaving him and his boys in a state of profound grief. Then, Crow arrives, a manifestation of their sorrow and a guide through their mourning. Crow promises, “I won’t leave until you don’t need me anymore,” setting the tone for his role in their mourning.
The Raw Reality of Grief
One of the most poignant reflections from Dad comes a few days after his wife’s death when he describes the “organisational fakery of my days” and feeling “hung-empty.” In his description, he captures the dissonance between the outer world and his internal chaos. He recognises that the journey through grief would be long. It’s marked by a new normal, where the dynamics of everyday life shift and change.
The New Normal
Grief is the Thing with Feathers explores changed roles—from returning to work to adapting to new family roles. The story is compelling as each character navigates their behaviours and emotions in the aftermath of loss. Dad’s candid admission that “moving on is a concept for stupid people” acknowledges that grief is a long-term process, not something to be rushed or fixed.
We Hope She Likes Us
A touching moment in the story was a letter from Dad to Dearest Boy. He signed off the letter, “Are you being good? Don’t worry about doing or not doing stuff; it doesn’t matter.” The boys reflected on their behaviour trying to evoke a reaction as if their mother was still alive. Their deep yearning and searching, ageing her, wondering if they would die the same age as her, they wondered, “We hope she likes us.”
Personal Reflections
The book beautifully depicts the transition from raw grief to acceptance of loss. The characters evolve and show that grief while enduring, becomes a part of life that can be navigated with a balance of vulnerability and humour.”
As a widow and a bereavement counsellor, the book allowed me to reflect on my own experiences with grief and loss. Although I was not currently in a state of acute grief, the book transported me back to that time, allowing me to reconnect with the intense emotions and struggles that come with loss.
In conclusion, “Grief is the Thing with Feathers” is a powerful and moving exploration of grief and loss. The book offers a relatable portrayal of the journey through mourning, reminding us of the enduring nature of grief and the resilience of the human spirit.
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