“Losses that cannot be openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned, or publicly shared. We experience these losses, but we come to know that we do not have the right to grieve them.”
Kenneth Doka (2017, p. 8)
1. Loss that is not a death:
- Ageing, incarceration, dementia, divorce, changes in physical or mental health, job loss, relationship ending, unplanned retirement, or traumatic brain injury.
- Less-discussed examples include being a victim of crime, identity theft, scamming or phishing.
2. Others do not recognize a relationship:
- Ex-partner, same-sex, celebrity death, neighbour, companion animal.
- It could also be a person known professionally, such as a doctor or tradesperson.
3. Mourners may feel the cause of death may be met with disapproval:
- Suicide, drug overdose, abortion, driver death under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
4. Society does not believe you have the right to grieve:
- Prisoner, the other woman/man, estranged relationships.
5. When society does not believe that you can grieve:
- Children, older adults, and people with intellectual disability.
6. The different ways people grieve:
- The person might appear to others as having already adjusted to the loss through their actions and behaviours.
How Can Changes in Between Help?
I understand grief! My personal experience as a young widow profoundly affected the direction of my life during my husband’s illness and after his death. I’ve also experienced grief through failed relationships, the sudden and traumatic deaths of important people, job loss, miscarriage, and the death of beloved pets. Disenfranchised grief for me includes the death of significant professional people and being scammed.
My extensive training and certification in grief and loss, including working in a coronial jurisdiction and with Grief Australia, allows me to understand the complexities of sudden, unexpected, and traumatic death.
Grief Counselling and Psychotherapy
Counselling and psychotherapy are available for grief and loss. This may include acute grief following a recent bereavement, as well as grief that has resurfaced years later or grief related to living losses such as separation, estrangement, identity change, or major life transitions.
This work offers space to process what has been lost, make sense of complex or layered grief, and understand how grief is affecting your emotions, relationships, and daily life. It may also include gentle psycho-education to help normalise your experience and reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies grief.
Together, we will honour your loss, rebuild your life, and find your place. We’ll move at a pace that feels respectful, realistic, and supportive of where you are now.
