Grief can feel like winter, not simply because it is painful, but because it often changes the pace of life entirely. Social contact may feel difficult. Decisions become harder. Energy narrows. The future can feel uncertain or strangely distant.
Periods of grief, burnout, caregiving, illness, separation, or major life transitions often place people into what feels like an in-between space. Life no longer feels as it once did, yet a new way of being has not yet fully taken shape.
In many cultures, winter is associated with dormancy, withdrawal, and reduced activity. Nature slows down. Growth becomes less visible. Yet beneath the surface, processes are still unfolding, and for many people, grief can feel similar.
The Experience of Wintering
Writer Katherine May uses the term “wintering” to describe periods in life when people are forced to step back from ordinary momentum and learn to live differently for a time. Wintering is rarely something people choose.
It may follow the death of someone important, the end of a relationship, caregiving exhaustion, illness, workplace burnout, financial stress, chronic overwhelm, or a significant change in identity or circumstance. Sometimes several of these experiences occur together.
During these periods, people often describe feeling unlike themselves. Tasks that once felt ordinary may become difficult. Homes can become harder to manage. Paperwork accumulates. Routines change. Some people withdraw socially or struggle to tolerate the demands they previously managed with ease.
For neurodivergent people, periods of grief, burnout, or major change can also amplify existing challenges with executive functioning, organisation, sensory processing, and daily routines.
This does not necessarily mean something is “wrong.” Often, it reflects the reality of carrying prolonged emotional strain while still trying to continue with everyday life.
The Pressure to “Move Forward”
Many people feel pressure to recover quickly from grief or major life disruptions. There can be an expectation that resilience should look productive, positive, and forward-moving.
What is often less acknowledged is that grief and emotional exhaustion can alter concentration, motivation, energy, decision-making, and functioning for long periods of time. People may move between moments of clarity and periods of shutdown, overwhelm, or uncertainty.
This fluctuation is frequently interpreted as failure, avoidance, or a lack of progress, when, in many cases, it reflects the uneven reality of adapting to changing circumstances.
Part of the difficulty is that modern life rarely leaves much room for withdrawal, reduced capacity, or emotional recovery. People are often expected to continue functioning at the same pace while privately carrying significant grief, responsibility, or exhaustion.
Wintering and the Home
Wintering is often experienced not only emotionally, but practically, particularly within the home and everyday routines.
Homes may begin to reflect what is happening internally. Dishes pile up. Paperwork remains unopened. Belongings become harder to sort through. Spaces that once felt manageable can begin to feel overwhelming.
This can become especially complicated when grief is connected to possessions, caregiving, family estates, relationship endings, or changes in identity and routine. Objects may hold emotional weight that extends far beyond their practical use.
Sometimes people judge themselves harshly for this. Yet in many situations, these changes reflect strain, loss, exhaustion, uncertainty, or the difficulty of adjusting to a life that no longer feels familiar.
What Helps During Difficult Seasons
Wintering can also involve recognising what makes difficult periods more manageable.
The Danish concept of hygge is often associated with warmth, familiarity, and small comforts during colder seasons. A blanket, candlelight, soup on the stove, familiar music, or sitting beside someone trustworthy may not remove grief, but these things can make difficult periods feel more bearable.
During periods of wintering, many people begin paying closer attention to what feels manageable rather than trying to immediately return to how life used to be.
Sometimes the work is less about pushing forward and more about recognising what helps you continue through periods of uncertainty, grief, or exhaustion.
Finding Your Place in the In-Between
The in-between spaces of grief and transition can feel isolating, particularly when other people expect clarity, progress, or resolution before you are ready.
Yet these periods can also change how people understand themselves, their relationships, their homes, their priorities, and the pace at which they want to live.
At Changes in Between, much of my work sits within these spaces where grief, overwhelm, identity, home life, and everyday functioning begin to intersect. This includes supporting people through grief and bereavement, life transitions, caregiving strain, chronic disorganisation and overwhelm, and periods where life no longer feels anchored in the way it once did.
Wintering does not last forever, but it often changes people. Sometimes the task is not to rush out of the season, but to learn how to live within it while life slowly begins to take shape again.
Seeking Help for Loss and Grief
If you’re ready to seek help, here’s how to take the first step – book a brief enquiry call. You will be asked to select a time from the available bookings, for a 15-minute phone call. I will call you at the date and time selected.
